Dick Types Ceramic Coasters

Think you know your dicks? Gotta catch 'em all...

Finally, a dick that knows its place: under your drink. These ceramic coasters turn 11 named penis types into clean line art with labels you'll absolutely argue about. Your coffee table has entered the anatomy discussion.

A housewarming gift for the friend with no filter, a gay bachelor-party contribution, or a practical addition to your own bad taste. Pick a favorite or assemble a lineup. The cork backing can handle the furniture; the conversation is your problem.

Each coaster is sold individually. Select the Dick Type and color combination, choose your colors where relevant, then add one coaster at a time to your cart with the quantity set to 1. Repeat for every coaster you want, including matching designs. A product photo showing several coasters is not a bundled set.

Choose your type

• Banana: A curve with excellent table manners.
• Boyfriend: Bring this one home. It already knows where the drink goes.
• Champagne Cork: A reason to celebrate. Keep the popping metaphorical.
• Golden Retriever: Enthusiastic company. No walking required.
• Javelin: For a more direct approach. Aim for the coaster.
• Mushroom: A little cap energy for your nightcap.
• Pencil: Make your point. Spare the furniture.
• Prince Charming: The fairy tale has finally found a practical use.
• Pyramid: A monument to whatever this conversation has become.
• Tree Trunk: Wood for the table. How considerate.
• Wedge: Gets between your drink and the furniture. Boundaries, at last.
• Discontinued Designs: Retired from the main cast. Contact me before ordering to confirm which older designs are available.

Same artwork, different introductions: Boyfriend, Golden Retriever, and Prince Charming share one illustration; Javelin and Pencil share another; Pyramid and Wedge share another. Choose the name you want printed.

Choose your colors

• Black Design/White Coaster: black line art on a white coaster. A classic with questionable subject matter.
• Color Design/White Coaster: choose the artwork color; the background stays white.
• Color Design/Color Coaster: choose both the artwork and background colors. Coordinate your dick with the room. Interior design has come a long way.

For either custom-color option, send your artwork color and, where applicable, background color to orders@wickedwicksandmore.com. Include your order number if you've already ordered. I need those details before I can make your coaster.

Perfectly imperfect, by hand

Each one is handmade and perfectly imperfect. Materials, printing, ink fluctuations, and heating shifts can create small differences in color, finish, and placement. Screens have their own opinions about color, too.

I'll get the finished coaster as close as possible to your requested colors, but heat can shift the ink in unpredictable ways. Your item may differ slightly from the photo or requested shade. Think individual personality, even when the anatomy is shared.

Minor handmade variation is expected; damage, defects, and material differences from the description or approved order remain covered. See Remorseful Remedies (Refund Policy).

Coaster details

• Material: high-gloss ceramic with soft cork backing to help protect your table from scratches.
• Shape and size: round only, 4 inches in diameter and 1/4 inch thick. Dick Types coasters are not available in square.
• Production: I print and heat-press each design by hand using dye sublimation at around 400°F. The heated ink becomes gas, enters the protective gloss coating, and solidifies beneath the gloss as it cools. The artwork is infused into the coated surface while the gloss remains intact.
• Protective finish: the top and sides have a durable glass sealant for waterproof protection, fade and UV protection, and resistance to scratches and scuffs.
• Heat: the ceramic surface tolerates temperatures up to 400°F. That does not make the assembled coaster oven-safe or suitable as a hot-pan trivet.

Keep it presentable

Wipe by hand with a soft cloth and gentle detergent, then dry. No dishwasher. Do not soak the cork backing. And don't microwave it. I don't know why you would, but don't.

The ceramic can handle heat, but sustained high temperatures can melt or soften the adhesive holding the cork backing, causing it to loosen or come off. These coasters are for drinks; keep them out of ovens and away from hot cookware.

Made in DC. Keep an eye on your inbox.

I make each order by hand in Washington, DC, as it comes in. I'm often faster and can get orders out in around 3 days, but please allow 5–7 business days for production, plus shipping time. Business days are Monday–Friday, excluding US federal holidays.

Please monitor your messages. If I need color details or clarification, waiting for your reply can add significant time. For custom work, production begins once payment, the required information, and any agreed proof approval have been received.

See Demonic Dispatches (Shipping Policy) for delivery details and Remorseful Remedies (Refund Policy) for returns, exchanges, and order problems.

Expand the anatomy lesson with Boob Types Ceramic Coasters. Your guests were going to talk about you anyway.