Master's Mythos (About Me)

It started in 2023 with an unexplainable urge to make candles. Not cute ones. Funny ones. Borderline offensive ones.

I bought supplies, made a batch, slapped on labels like “Step Brother’s Gym Socks,” and immediately knew I was in trouble — the good kind. One Cricut later, there was no turning back.

Things escalated fast. Sublimation coasters. Keychains. Ceramic art pieces. What was supposed to be a weekend hobby became a full-blown side hustle I now call Wicked Wicks and More. It’s queer, sarcastic, occasionally sexy, and aggressively me.

I still have a day job. This is just how I decompress — by making things that make people laugh or feel seen, ideally both. My background is all over the place: gay, Army vet, ultramarathoner (yes, two 50-milers, yes on purpose), wildlife photography nerd, lived in 8 states, now firmly planted in DC with my Australian Shepherd Rende — short for Rendezvous. I said I was gay.

Some of what I make is irreverent. Most of it, honestly. But everything is made deliberately. There’s a difference between a nude tile piece for a drag bar and a cheeky coaster someone can leave on the coffee table when their in-laws visit — and I think about that every time. I love doing custom work for people who want something that’s actually theirs: specific to their humor, their aesthetic, their people.

At the end of the day, the goal is simple. I want you to open the box, immediately turn to whoever’s nearby, and say “LOOK at this ridiculous thing I bought from some weirdo in DC.”

That’s it. That’s the whole mission.

Thanks for stopping by my weird little corner of the internet. I hope you find something that makes you laugh, feel seen, or both. ❤️