{"product_id":"kinky-keychains-handmade-dc","title":"Kinky Keychains | Handmade Wood Keychain | Pick Your Design | Funny Queer Gift","description":"\u003ch2\u003e🗝️ Say it louder — from your keyring.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHandmade MDF keychains with original queer designs for people who have things to say and no patience for subtlety. Full color, printed both sides, attached to whatever needs more personality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSmall, loud, and absolutely not safe for your group chat's screen time. Pick your design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Lineup\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003e#1 Top Who Can't Drive\u003c\/strong\u003e — All directions, no sense of direction.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛣️ \u003cstrong\u003e#2 Verse Who Can't Drive\u003c\/strong\u003e — Switches lanes, signals never.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛏️ \u003cstrong\u003e#3 Bottom Who Can't Drive\u003c\/strong\u003e — Will happily be driven, thanks.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔑 \u003cstrong\u003e#4 Shutup and Drive\u003c\/strong\u003e — A mood and a mission statement.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e👅 \u003cstrong\u003e#5 Looking for a Bump\u003c\/strong\u003e — Asking for a friend. The friend is the keychain.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚚 \u003cstrong\u003e#6 uHaul Platinum Membership\u003c\/strong\u003e — Second date, moving truck booked. You know who you are.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐦 \u003cstrong\u003e#7 I Brake for Twinks\u003c\/strong\u003e — A public safety announcement.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e💅 \u003cstrong\u003e#8 Flawless Lawless and Braless\u003c\/strong\u003e — A full personality on a keyring.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🟠 \u003cstrong\u003e#9 Rush Poppers Bottle\u003c\/strong\u003e — The nightstand icon, now portable.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🦂 \u003cstrong\u003e#10 Double Scorpio Bottle\u003c\/strong\u003e — Craft-tier, key-sized.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🌴 \u003cstrong\u003e#11 Jungle Juice Bottle\u003c\/strong\u003e — Loud and tropical, attached to your keys.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚗️ \u003cstrong\u003e#12 Unlabeled 'Molecule' (C)\u003c\/strong\u003e — Organic chemistry's most controversial diagram.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚗️ \u003cstrong\u003e#13 Unlabeled Poppers Molecule\u003c\/strong\u003e — Alkyl nitrite, rendered with love.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚗️ \u003cstrong\u003e#14 Unlabeled MDMA Molecule\u003c\/strong\u003e — The shape of a very good night.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚖️ \u003cstrong\u003e#15 Luigi Trust\u003c\/strong\u003e — For the folk-hero sympathizer. Iykyk.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003e🛠️ Product Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 2.35\" × 1.57\" MDF wood\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Method:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dye sublimation — full color, both sides, won't peel, crack, or fade\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHardware:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lobster-clasp keyring\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHandmade in Washington, DC\u003c\/strong\u003e 🏛 — designed, produced, and packed by one person, never factory-printed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLGBTQ+ owned \u0026amp; operated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003e📬 How Ordering Works\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOrder\u003c\/strong\u003e — Pick your design right on this page.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eReceived \u0026amp; confirmed\u003c\/strong\u003e — I get your order and confirm everything's clear. If anything's missing, I'll reach out.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order, by hand\u003c\/strong\u003e — printed, pressed, and quality-checked just for you. Current production time is 2–3 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eApproval photo (optional)\u003c\/strong\u003e — want eyes on it before it ships? Just ask. Skip it if you'd rather be surprised.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eShipped\u003c\/strong\u003e — packed by hand and on its way, with tracking.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e✦ Perfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎁 Stocking stuffers and party-favor chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e👜 The bag that needs a warning label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏳️‍🌈 Pride market grabs and last-minute gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚗 The friend who genuinely cannot drive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e👀 \u003cstrong\u003ePairs With:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"\/products\/poppers-bottle-ceramic-coasters\"\u003ePoppers Bottle Coasters\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/products\/dick-types-ceramic-coasters\"\u003eDick Types Coasters\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/products\/dc-queer-bars-ceramic-coasters\"\u003eDC Queer Bars Coasters\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e🛒 \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/wickedwicksandmore.com\/collections\/all\"\u003eLooking for a different design? Browse the full collection →\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAre they double-sided?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes — full-color sublimation printed on both sides, so the design shows whichever way it flips.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow big are they?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e2.35″ × 1.57″ — substantial enough to read, small enough to live on your keys or bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print wear off?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo — sublimation infuses the design into the surface, so it won't peel, crack, or fade like a sticker.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I get a custom design?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOften, yes — message me with the idea and I'll tell you if it's doable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat if it arrives damaged?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMessage me with a photo and I'll make it right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWICKED WICKS AND MORE  ·  HANDMADE IN WASHINGTON, DC  ·  STAY WICKED.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Wicked Wicks and More","offers":[{"title":"Top Who Can't Drive","offer_id":48074202251456,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-01","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Verse Who Can't Drive","offer_id":48074202284224,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-02","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bottom Who Can't Drive","offer_id":48074202316992,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-03","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Shutup and Drive","offer_id":48074202349760,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-04","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Looking for a Bump","offer_id":48074202382528,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-05","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"uHaul Platinum Membership","offer_id":48074202415296,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-06","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"I Brake for Twinks","offer_id":48074202448064,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-07","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flawless Lawless and Braless","offer_id":48074202480832,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-08","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush Poppers Bottle","offer_id":48074202513600,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-09","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double Scorpio Poppers Bottle","offer_id":48074202546368,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-10","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jungle Juice Poppers Bottle","offer_id":48074202579136,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-11","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unlabeled Coc@ine Molecule","offer_id":48074202611904,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-12","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unlabeled Poppers Molecule","offer_id":48074202644672,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-13","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unlabeled MDMA Molecule","offer_id":48074202677440,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-14","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Luigi Trust","offer_id":48103504838848,"sku":"WW-KEY-KKY-15","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0751\/0373\/1904\/files\/Photoroom_20260402_022024.jpg?v=1775302588","url":"https:\/\/wickedwicksandmore.com\/products\/kinky-keychains-handmade-dc","provider":"Wicked Wicks and More","version":"1.0","type":"link"}